To Be Afraid of Dubaic Dinosaurs

There is a dilemma making its way to the dinner tables of industrialized countries more and more today in the 21^st Century. Amen. It is a problem that affects every family worldwide. I take that back. It exempts those Dubai-ians, who are rightfully excluded from most problems facing the globe. The reason for this, obvious- after all life becomes distinct, these people will remain prehistoric Dubaic dinosaurs, perfected by riches and the incredible evolution that capital causes. And any previously insurmountable conflict that has plagued the natural world (from colon cancer to Noah’s wave to Apocalypse to the 5 o’clock traffic jam) could certainly be bought off and dispelled with a wave of their Golden Palms. And if any problem becomes so large the Dubai-ians can rest assured that they will always have requisite insurance in order to buy a new world- and if this is in doubt, look no further than their current paradise.

No this new dilemma does not involve a single baby of Dubai, though the problem I speak of faces every other current and future generation. It is something that poses an imminent threat to all life and indeed this Earth which, Lovelock has hypothesized, is also living. It is something that we didn’t see back when Natale Olivieri sold Tru-Fruit soft drinks in Richmond, Virginia during the Staggering ‘30s. Still to this day, we cannot see it in our bibles.

I foresee a day when human waste builds and molds and devours and eventually surmounts even the transient skyscrapers. I see it brighter than any sun. I have Trash Fever.

The Europeans say once a substance or object has become waste, it will remain waste until it has been fully recovered and no longer poses a potential threat to the environment or to human health. Water pollution causes approximately 14,000 deaths per day and 750,000 people in China die every year as a result of pollution-related diseases.

Oh, but I can assure you- these numbers are just pixels on a screen, only faintly recognizable to the brain. Our minds cannot comprehend the fury that would result from the total inebriation of the circle of life. Neither can the world.

So even though we are the most terrific species on Earth (or at least the most cubicle tested species on Earth) there’s little hope that we can overcome such an environmental degradation as we’ll see in 40 years.

And that’s nothing to get tied up about. After all, there is no precedent for such a day of reckoning and if there was such a day, the entire religious community surely would have seen the warning signs.

Needless to say, this planet is disposable. It is not heaven. And there are a few justifications I have for such an assumption. Life here is not one large Burger King ball-pit. Life here does not always have equitable plumbing or dentistry. People here are normal- everyone is not born with an operatic range (I’m not even going to mention that some amongst us cannot even sing); we don’t wear white robes or even see beauty in tennis. So you see there is no heaven on Earth. And anyways, species extinction isn’t so bad when you get to go to heaven.